The clinic called me yesterday morning and told me that the vomiting was only getting worse.... and in her opinion - letting him go was the best thing I could do for him at this point. What was going on inside his little body was worse than we had thought. I had woken up with the feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was going to come to that.
Billy was one of those once in a lifetime critters. He has been through so much with me. It was a bit funny to be sitting with him having one last visit, bawling my eyes out and having him comforting me. He was more concerned with making me feel better than he was with the fact that he was in a strange place, with an IV in his leg and sick. He was there for me right until the end. He loved and loved with all he had and the only way I could repay him was to let him go before the suffering really started. He's been there so many times for me through broken hearts and I will always be grateful for the short 5.5 years I had with him. This is when I need him the most.... to fix the biggest heartbreak I have ever had. Oh the irony. I just about died while I was sitting there on the floor talking to the vet and he hopped up and put his paws on my shoulder. I just lost it. He did it again when he climbed up on me - put his paws on my and just looked me in the eyes... purring the whole time. Sometimes you just know when you have to let go. He was happy and purring and Billy on the outside.... but there was too much going on on the inside. I think seeing him happy - while comforting - also made it extra hard since he didn't look sick on the outside.